Bashing a Square Peg into a Round Hole
I think it’s safe to say that if the human race were mainly made up of autistic people it would be quite a different place from the world we recognise today. If countries were run by highly-functioning autistics/people with Asperger’s, the rules would be a bit different. There would be a greater emphasis on fairness and many world problems would be solved by people who prefer to do rather than talk and give speeches all the time. There would be a gobsmackingly big increase in new inventions and new medicines. And all itchy uniforms would be ditched for soft, comfy cotton or nudity. There would be Escape and Chillout Pods in every shop, school and workplace. And it would be illegal to say ‘Face your Fears’ ever again. But there might be an unusually high resistance to change and there would probably be some pretty polarised views on what is and what isn’t important or interesting and what we want for our children. Despite a strong sense of justice and a fear of conflict and pain, it’s just possible that too many people with strong views one way or the other might cause stand-offs between communities and nations. Maybe the risk of war would be greater. Maybe it would be equal. Or maybe we would do away with war all together because there would be no soldiers, and no one thought to create weapons. Why the heck would you want to waste time and money killing people, after all? Maybe however much we disagreed with our fellow earth dwellers we just wouldn’t see the point in fighting. In an autistic community you can just ignore the people you disagree with.
But where would the sense of community extend to? Would it end where the house wall ends? Where the street ends?
In my thinking my community goes on and on. Its reaches right around the world and back again. I am not restricted by manmade barriers. I think you’ll find a lot of autistic people show concern for those beyond an observable community in the sense of a street, a village, a country or a set of beliefs. We are not constricted by the same structures. We are often so alone in our world and in our thinking that we are not confined by the same social constructs and actually think bigger.
I’m thinking a lot this week about how society behaves. How people expect a lot from each other without having a clue about how demanding they are being. There are sets of unwritten rules about manners and appropriate behaviour that are so set in stone, so conventional, they are not even discussed.
And then someone like me comes along who doesn’t play by the rules all the time and then they are discussed. Like apparently not looking at someone and holding their gaze while they are talking to you is rude! I didn’t know that. How is that even rude anyway? In the autistic world we see staring at someone in a conversation as a threat, as a challenge, as a distraction. It’s much more pleasant, sensible, polite and friendly to move your eyes around a bit and not threaten other people. If someone loves you, they’ll stare at you safely when you’re not looking. Give them space to think. They know you’re interested in what you’re saying. Otherwise you wouldn’t even be in the same room together! Obviously.
In this world, run by autistic people, you 1 in 88 of the population non-autistic people (1 in 88-ish. That number keeps changing – I don’t know what you’re up to…) need to learn the rules and do as we do. LOOK AWAY WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU! Just turn you body toward me and nod now and then.
And then there’s that thing when if someone’s having a birthday you’re supposed to ask a load of people to do something with you of an evening. Maybe go out, maybe have a dinner party. Yeah, right. Why would you want to do that?! In the autistic world, you get your favourite thing for tea, you have it by yourself or with your 1/2/3/4/5 favourite person/people (okay 5 is stretching it a bit) and watch your favourite programme or film on telly or even just hang out with some other hermits on the Internet. Now THAT is how you have a good evening. DO IT! You can have alcohol too if you need it and even have a little dance when no one’s looking. Groovy is still happening in Autistic World. Don’t waste a load of money and a load of time making idle chit chat and gossiping with people you don’t know EXCEEDINGLY well. You know it’s better if you’re around people who don’t mind you picking your nose or suddenly swearing. Don’t forget we are the normal now – you are in the minority. You must make yourself fit however unnatural it is for you.
You don’t like it?
Shame. I’ll get my hammer and make you fit.
Bash. Bash. Bash. Okay so it hurts. You’ll thank me for it later.
Only I wouldn’t do that, would I? I have an enormous sense of justice.
You just do what feels right, love.
Must dash I need to cut the itchy label out of my jeans.