Truly, Madly, Autistically

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When I like you, I really like you.

At first I keep you at arm’s length, and make sure you’re sure and I’m sure.

I slowly reveal little snippets of myself: a bit of weird here, a bit of mad there.

I wait to see if you back away – I give you a “cooling off period”. I don’t like to impose myself on people. You must make the moves: you must let me know you like me.

You see I can’t handle the grief of losing a friend.

If you’re still there, I start to care about you. I begin the terrifying journey of starting to trust you. I only have so much trust and it’s hard to give it away. I need to know you can cope with the power of my affection.

It takes a long time for me to make a friend and I lose many along the way, but those who stay are special and I think about you and hope you will always be there.

I don’t always know what I can give except my deepest loyalty, the truth and genuine affection.

Thank you to those who are still there allowing me to like you and love you in my fervent way.

You have my trust.


4 thoughts on “Truly, Madly, Autistically

  1. Still here Rachel, watching and listening, across the bay. It’s a beautiful day, we had lunch outside. I do think of you across the bay. Don’t doubt yourself, I am sure you have plenty of friends who love you.

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  2. I don’t see self-doubt, I see someone who is truly in tune with who she is. Rachel, you’re a wonderful person and I wish I’d known you years ago 🙂

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  3. This is a lovely post, you remind me of someone I met quite recently, who’s becoming a valued friend. Genuine warmth is the most vital thing in a friendship, we should teach that to our kids before any academics.

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