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Midnight musings

I notice regularly how we quiet, reserved or socially awkward  people are recreated by those that don’t know us. There’s either the village gossip to fill in the gaps, or an exaggerated picture built up from only one encounter. Sometimes – if I’m really unlucky, people  remember (badly) a conversation from 20 years ago and have formed a strong, and yet almost entirely inaccurate opinion of me over the years. People don’t like incomplete characters; people they know and yet they don’t know. It makes them suspicious. So they make assumptions, listen to rumours and unfortunately believe hearsay. People can repeat and pass on stuff over time so that it starts to sound like fact but if you didn’t hear it from me maybe it’s not true. People can misinterpret my actions too and create a character who has done things that I haven’t done. I know, it’s happened to me. I’ve been told I’ve done things that I haven’t done. I’ve even been accused of spending money I haven’t spent. I wish I was one of those brave people who present themselves in public announcing, ‘This is me. Take it or leave it.’ But instead I write a blog and hope that people will read it

9 Comments Post a comment
  1. I did read your blog and, I’m sorry that people have painted a picture of you that isn’t true.
    I’m really sorry that it has upset you so much. I just met you and I don’t know much about you but, I know you are a great mum and a wonderful writer and a great photographer and, a very
    intelligent and likable lady…


    • Thanks, Joanne. That’s very kind of you. I appreciate it


  2. Rachel, you can’t waste precious time worrying about how other people will interpret you. We never have any control over what people think about us. Be true to yourself, breathe deeply and never, ever let the bastards grind you down.


    P.S. I think you’re smashing just as you are.


  3. Now I’m confused. I don’t whether the picture I have of you has been deliberately contrived by a manipulative mind (this could be yours or mine by the way).

    I’ve always found that if I believe someone has a mistaken opinion about me I try to steer them back onto the correct course. In general this makes things worse.

    Moral. Don’t worry; let others do the worrying for you.


    • I hope people who read my blog have a fairly honest picture of me – if they’ve read a lot of it. It’s where I can feel myself and be most open. Physical world only contacts probably don’t really know me at all because I hide my feelings.


  4. Even those close to us can see us incorrectly. My adult children have given me gifts that they are sure are “perfect” for me, based on who they think I am. Of course they’re off target.

    Of course, this can be a good thing too. I’ve insulated myself from many annoying people — most importantly from those who want to “help me” — by allowing them to think the “wrong” things about me.


    • Oh yes. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, Paul. There are far too many fixers out there who want to save us from ourselves.


  5. Yes, we humans are messy creatures, we hear what people say, translate things according to our own internals and panic around gaps and silences. In some ways this allows us to see things in many different ways, which is brilliant for new inventions but it’s not always good when assessing people. I love the gaps between people, and the silences between friends. Sometimes I think that if we took more time to enjoy quiet companionship, without always wanting to “know” (or compare) so much, it would be a calmer world.



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