The Crap Sponge

I have this sponge. No one can see it. But I know it’s there. I call it the crap sponge because it’s there to deal with and soak up all the crap I have to put up with in life. Lots of people have one but mine is quite big. Sometimes I feel it getting heavy but I can usually carry it.

When I was three the Fairy Sponge Mother visited me and said I had to have an even bigger sponge. I was going to need it, she said. Sure enough I had a lot of crap to deal with that year and was grateful for the greater crap-soaking-up capacity.

Throughout my childhood I went around with this invisible but heavy sponge full of crap and found that it was a bit of a hindrance but I hid it well, I think, and was especially sensitive to others who looked like they might be struggling with big sponges.
My capacity for taking crap has come in handy throughout my life and I am normally very willing to put up with other people’s crap because I recognise a small crap sponge carrier when I see one and am only too happy to help out.
Unfortunately two years of extraordinarily heavy crap brought one onslaught after another and I fear my sponge is now full and painful and beginning to leak.
I have heard that even crap sponges have a remarkable recovery rate if left to dry in the air for a while. So I’m wondering whether my poor sponge is allowed a break. I’m actually quite fond of it, we’ve been together so long now.
It may be tricky because the other sponges in this house are oddly shaped and can be a bit unpredictable.

Maybe a crap holiday would help. Perhaps a crap movie… I’ve seen how other people leak when they watch crap films. Then afterwards perhaps my crap sponge and I could go to bed with a crap book.

10 thoughts on “The Crap Sponge

  1. Sometimes the best thing to do when other people are causing your sponge to swell to very large proportions is to laugh it off, and realize that other people’s issues/problems don’t really have anything to do with you.

    Don’t put up with other people’s anything, unless it’s family members. . . 😀


  2. This is brilliant and all too understandable, Rachel. Perhaps one day we could have a Big Sponge competition? The prize – getting someone else to carry yours for a while.

    I hope you can down-size soon.


    • I think there are sponge carriers out there somewhere. I’ve certainly heard of sponge-sitters that can give you temporary help. I’ve not seen one yet myself…
      The good news is – I’ve heard sponges like the odd glass of red wine 😉


  3. When the sponge is really full, it is physically unable to soak up any more. At this point, the sponge is unable and the carrier has to say no. It’s a small but useful word x


  4. I like your metaphor of a crap sponge.. I recently had to wring mine out and said screw it.. I’m not soaking up any one else’s crap for a while. 🙂 My sponge is dry for a while hopefully. It’s only soaking up my own crap for a while. :).


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